Stop Telling Me to ‘Speak the Truth in Love’ When What You Really Mean is ‘Don’t Tell Me Truth at All’.

Stop Telling Me to 'Speak the Truth in Love' When What You Really Mean is Don't Tell Me Truth at All. @KathyWereb.com

What do you think of this meme?

On the surface, it seems okay, pretty PC by the world’s standards, but what is it really saying? It’s obviously a modern take on John 13:35, and for the most part, I agree with it. And yet, I have to wonder, just what message was the creator of this meme hoping to get across? The choices of the crossed-out words intrigued me, so I made a comment on the post where I found this. I basically said that sometimes love is telling people the hard truths they don’t want to hear. There was more that supported what I said, but the poster did not agree with me, and so, the following blog is my answer to what he told me.

He told me that what I said “wasn’t the point. That ‘speaking the Truth in love’ is not in your face, smart-aleck, sarcastic, or name-calling!”

My answer is this…

I think it is the point, isn’t it? It’s just a matter of perception.

I’ve had people I’m close to accuse me of doing just what this man described when I’ve told them Truth, even though I NEVER once was ‘in their face, smart-alecky, sarcastic or calling them names’. I simply told them what the Bible says about whatever we were discussing at the time.

It doesn’t matter how much I coach my words in love, or tact, Truth is Truth, and sometimes the people who need to hear it don’t want to hear it, so they accuse me of ‘not speaking the Truth in love’ so that they can continue to live in sin and feel no conviction over what they’re doing, or not doing.

They want Christ’s love without any of His Truth attached.

I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen. Unfortunately there are jerks out there who do exactly what this meme says. People are people, and sometimes what people say and how they say it can be a problem, but I’m willing to bet that the vast majority of those who are accused of ‘not speaking the Truth in love’ are absolutely not guilty of the charges.

It’s a matter of perception.

People don’t like to be told what to do. They don’t like to be told what not to do. They don’t like it when Truth comes along and says, “Hey, you know, Jesus loves you…BUT…He doesn’t love your sin.” They want all of God’s love but none of the requirements to get it. They want the relationship without the commitment. They want God on their terms, no strings attached, and heaven help the person who tries to tell them, in love, that God’s not down with it.

As a Christ-follower, my job isn’t to whitewash Truth to make it more palatable. My job is to love people enough to tell them the Truth even if it steps on their toes, or makes them uncomfortable. Sometimes Truth hurts. And that’s the whole point.

Jesus doesn’t call us to a non-confrontational Gospel. The very message of the Gospel IS confrontational. Just look at Jesus’ life. He loved people so much He gave up heaven to come to earth to love them enough to confront their sin even knowing they would reject Him. When those men dragged that woman caught in adultery before Him, Jesus didn’t give them a pass. He loved them as much as he loved that woman, and He told them they were just as guilty of sin as she was. He didn’t soften the message. In today’s world, they would have accused Him of “not speaking the Truth in love” because what Jesus said definitely made them uncomfortable.

You see, Jesus’ message divides because Light has no fellowship with Darkness. And He wasn’t afraid to say it, even if it made Him unpopular with the religious crowd.

If I speak the Truth, in love, the reaction of those hearing it isn’t on me. I can’t change that they were offended by what I said, no matter how loving, or gently, I said it. Their perception of what I meant isn’t my fault, and their perception of what I said doesn’t make me guilty of not speaking the Truth in love.

So. I agree with this meme’s premise on ‘unkind memes’ and ‘name-calling’. No one should do that to anyone. But as to the ‘political put-downs’ and ‘divisive talk’ I have to strongly disagree because those are issues that are a matter of perception, not Truth. Everyone has a different definition of what those two phrases mean.

If I give my political opinion, or talk about God’s Truth, someone, somewhere, WILL be offended. They will say that I have no love, or that I’m not a true Christian because they didn’t feel loved by what I said. They’ll call me names, judge me, and will get mad when I don’t backtrack and apologize for the Truth I’ve spoken.

But that’s okay. I know that they’re not speaking from Truth, but from their feelings, their emotions, the conviction that Biblical Truth brings. Sometimes Truth hurts. So Christian’s, don’t let the world shut you up. Don’t stop speaking God’s Truth, in love, for fear that it might be perceived as unloving.

Take a cue from Jesus. His entire life was spent loving people, but He NEVER let the crowd, or religious people, dictate His message or how he said it. Speaking the Truth may not be popular, or PC, but it is necessary, even if someone gets offended.

And remember, when people tell you to ‘Speak the Truth in love’ what they really mean is ‘Don’t tell me Truth at all’.

1 comment

  1. Excellent! I have this discussion with believers and nonbelievers a lot – you have stated it very well! Would you give permission for me to repost it?

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