Stop falling in love.
I mean it. Just stop. Besides being impossible to do, it just sounds so painful, doesn’t it? I mean, the last time I fell it hurt. Falling reminds me of skinned knees and busted lips, not something beautiful to be sought after.
I think the world needs a reality check. Love is not something we just fall into, like one day we’re walking along and BAM!, we trip over it, fall flat on our face and come up all googly-eyed and twitterpated.
Love is not an accident. We can’t find love by tripping over it, or falling into it like we’re diving into a pool. It’s not attraction, or lust, or seeing someone across the crowded mall and sharing a glance for ten seconds. That’s called infatuation, and yes, while it can help lead us to love, that initial spark is not love.
Love is a choice.
Love is waking up at 2 a.m. to hold your spouse’s hair back while they’re puking in the toilet. Love is laughing at the same joke you’ve heard a million times, or putting up with the same story told and retold year after year without complaint. Love is taking the time to notice the little things and making them big, without being asked, just to see that special someone smile. Love is sitting with someone who just got devastating news without abandoning them. Love is being able to put up with someone for more than fifteen minutes at a time.
Love is a choice because infatuation can’t handle real life.
And that’s what makes love so beautiful! When you choose something you give it a deeper meaning than just hopping from one emotion to another.
We need to move past that first flush of emotion, because if we fall in and out of love so easily then we’ve cheapened love, turned it into something trite and convenient. We reduce it to nothing more than bodily functions or make it into something to be used to prop up our emotional well-being. Love is not a toy to be played with for a while and then abandoned when something ‘better’ comes our way.
Don’t get me wrong, to love and be loved is an awesome thing. And to be loved is hardwired into our DNA. We need it, but love takes work, hard work, and it isn’t built in a moment or even a day. Love is a series of choices strung out over months and years and decades that, in the end, will create something beautiful.
So don’t let the world tell you to just settle for falling in love. Let love be your choice.
“Love is patient; love is kind. Love isn’t envious, doesn’t boast, brag or strut about. There’s no arrogance in love; it’s never rude, crude or indecent-it’s not self-absorbed. Love isn’t easily upset. Love does not tally wrongs.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
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