I recently heard this question on a program I was watching, and it stopped me in my tracks and made me think.
How much God do I want?
You know, not too long ago I would have been quick to say, I want as much God as I can get. But I have to ask…do I really?
Relationships take work, they stretch me out of my comfort zone, they require that I give more than I take. And for a long time I’ve been taking God for as much as I could get.
Oh I was an expert at telling people just how much I wanted more of God in my life, but behind the curtains, not really. He became more of an ornament to decorate my life, just something that I pulled out every now and then for show and tell. When I was done with Him I put Him back in the box and shoved Him back under the bed. And then I’d wonder just why He wasn’t that close to me, why I could no longer hear His voice, why my spirit was feeling dry and dusty.
Jeremiah 29:13 says this, “When you look for me, you will find me…“
You see, the problem wasn’t God, it was me. I had stopped seeking him with all my heart. I’d let other things and people get between us. I’d gotten comfortable keeping God at arm’s length. I wanted more of God, but only if He came on my terms.
But is that really what I want? A God who comes at my beck and call? A God who only interacts with my life when I feel like it? Do I want to stand at the edge of the water of God’s grace, content to just dip my toes in enough to get a little ‘buzz’ of God’s Spirit? Or do I jump in, nothing held back, and immerse myself completely in a no holds barred relationship with Him?
What would I have to lose? What great thing am I holding onto that beats out an intimate relationship with the God who knows me, who created me, who loved me enough to die for me?
Talk is cheap. It’s easy to spout off Christian platitudes to make myself feel better about my shallow relationship with God, because it’s so much easier than making God a priority in my life. Relationships take work. They take time to build. Sometimes they’re messy, and unpredictable, but are they worth it?
In the end, the only question I can ask myself is this…How much God do I want?