I don’t surround myself with negative people.
I don’t.
Case in point…
Years ago we were attending a church and there was a woman there that I got to know. She seemed sweet, but we weren’t really friends, just acquaintances. So like I normally do on social media I accepted her friendship request and although we rarely talked I enjoyed seeing her posts. Everything was fine, until Halloween.
I posted a picture of a friend and I at work, goofing around. She found a cape in the drama department, so she pretended to be the Phantom of the Opera and I pretended to be frightened. It was funny. It was cute. It was harmless.
This woman I barely knew posted a rather lengthy and nasty comment underneath it. I was a bit shocked at her vehemence, but I understood. She doesn’t do Halloween. So I deleted her comment in the effort at not provoking an argument because both sides of this issue can become pretty hot pretty fast.
What did she do? She posted again. I deleted again. Then again, and again…I think I deleted around 5 comments before she finally private messaged me demanding to know why. I politely explained that while I understood where she was coming from, I didn’t agree, and I didn’t appreciate her personal attacks against me and my faith, and so, in the interest of remaining peaceful sisters in Christ I asked her to please stop posting underneath my photo.
After many messages of her trying to get a rise out me, she finally agreed, and life went on. Or so I thought. I happened upon a post, and then I found even more posts, where she continued to harangue, slander and gossip about me to her other friends in regards to that one innocent photo.
What did I do? Did I attack her back? Did I begin gossiping behind her back about her? Did I remove my photo in an effort to appease her wrath?
Nope. I blocked her. Negativity gone, just like that.
Fast forward five years or so…
She found me on another social media site. And wouldn’t you know it, began posting nasty comments underneath some of my posts. This time, I blocked her right away because, you know, from her comments I could see that she hadn’t really changed in all those years.
And now, just the other day, I posted a comment on a friend’s post and wouldn’t you know it, this same woman posted a comment under mine! She had apparently created a new profile during those long years, and being friends with the other person, now had access to me again. So, I’ve blocked her again, and will continue to block her if she ever pops up again in my life.
She may be the sweetest person in the universe to her friends and family, but to me, she has been, shall we say, one of the worst examples of a sister in Christ that I’ve ever seen. I don’t need frenemies like her in my life.
Now. Why did I tell you all of that?
Simply for this reason…
As a Christian, you do not have to accept negative people in your life. You are not required to hold onto a friendship, or acquaintance-ship, or even a family relationship, that brings nothing but pain, heartache, and frustration to your life. If someone is determined to backbite, gossip, and drag you through the mud behind your back, kick them to the curb and be assured that you’ve done nothing wrong by doing so.
This is especially true when you’ve given these negativity junkies multiple opportunities to change. If you’ve repeatedly asked them to stop and they won’t. If they are so bent on being right, that they don’t care if they are hurting you in the process, then you can shake the dust off your feet and know that you are better off without them.
We are required to pray for them, to love them, to forgive them…but hang out with them, or allow them access to our lives? Nope, not required, not one bit.
Case in point…
I still pray for this woman. I still love her as Jesus does. I do battle forgiving her, to be honest, but hey, I think we all struggle with forgiveness off and on as we live our lives. I genuinely wish the best for this woman, I just don’t want her best to be a part of mine.
If you are a negative person, please STOP. Really. I’m begging you. Especially if you are a born-again follower of Jesus. Constantly attacking people reflects badly on the One we are supposed to represent. Agree to disagree and move on, you don’t have to comment on every single thing another person does or says.
I’ve learned this the hard way.
Negative people do what negative people do, but Christian, trust me, you are better off without them.