I just had an amazing weekend at the AZ Women’s Annual Fall Retreat in the beautiful city of Prescott. It’s hard to explain just how much I needed this. It was a time of spiritual refreshing, spending time with other women who understand what it means to be a daughter of God, a time for God to dig a little deeper into my heart and my habits. There was so much packed into so few days that it’s going to take me weeks, if not months, to sort it out in prayer.
There was one thing, one phrase, repeated often enough that it struck a nerve. After a weekend of chewing on it I believe that God is giving me some much needed clarity.
I realize that the intended meaning of this phrase was to declare the truth of God’s calling on my life. That as a woman I am just as qualified as anyone else, man or woman, to teach, preach and lead others into a closer walk with the God I love and live for.
That’s all true…but, here’s the thing.
MY truth tells me that I am worthless. MY truth declares that nothing I do, or have done, means anything to anyone. MY truth screams that I am small, self-centered, lonely and insecure. MY truth demands that I accept what I get because I deserve nothing better
I don’t want to speak MY truth because MY truth tears my life apart and leaves me huddled in the rubble. The truth I need to speak, the only truth that matters Lord, is Yours, because…
YOUR Truth tells me I am priceless because You paid the price. YOUR Truth declares that everything I do matters because You created me. YOUR Truth screams that I am someone who is loved, cherished and wanted. YOUR Truth demands that I stand, hand in hand with You, and take my place as Your beloved daughter.
There is no shame in God’s Truth. There is no fear, or rejection, or loneliness or despair. There is only love, amazing love, that died to set me free. The only Truth I want…no need to speak Lord, is yours.